Those+Pesky+Cliques

Although you would like every experience your child has to be a positive one, unfortunately reality can rear its ugly head and feelings can get hurt, exclusions can happen, and self-images can become damaged. Cliques are, sadly, a part of growing up. "Once considered a phenomenon primarily among high school girls, cliques today crop up as early as elementary school posing challenges for children and their parents." As a parent, you can help your child gain a positive self-concept and ease rejection. To read more about this increasingly common elementary problem, click on the articles below. **KEYS: WHAT CAN I DO?** **Be a good listener.** Remember that however illogical they may seem, your child's feelings are very real. Allow him/her to vent frustrations and share pain without trying to "fix" the situation. **Avoid judgments.** That same girl who made the nasty comment to your daughter today could very well be her best friend tomorrow. **Love him/her.** Remind your child that you love him/her and value him/her as an individual. Talk about all the characteristics that make him/her special to you. **Dissect the clique myth.** Explain that by excluding others, kids are really trying to make themselves feel more acceptable. Help your child see that the kids in the "popular" clique probably feel just as insecure about themselves as everyone else. Encourage your child to think about people as individuals and to treat everyone with the care and respect. **Go easy on the advice.** For the most part, children learn friendship skills through trial and error and from each other, not from adults. According to Rubin, you have a better chance of conveying your ideas about friendship through your own example of nurturing friendships with a variety of people. Information from: []
 * THOSE PESKY CLIQUES!**

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